We’ve been nursing for almost 11 months now and inevitably the question arises, “When am I going to stop nursing?” Regardless of the fact that I have the AAP and the WHO on my side (who other than a health care professional would actually read an AAP policy?), I feel this subtle pressure to conform to the norms and stop nursing a mobile, babbling, soon-to-be toddler.
Working in the NICU, one would presume that breastfeeding would be esteemed. For the most part, my co-workers are very supportive. Unfortunately, the recommendations posed by the US Breastfeeding Committee are somewhat impractical for my particular work environment. Do I eat, pump, or go to the bathroom? Well, I need to do all three, but with two thirty minute breaks in a twelve hour day it’s nearly impossible. Couple that with the fact that our pump room, which can accommodate a total of two women, is shared by staff and patients and located inside the NICU which prohibits the consumption of food and drink. So I find myself rushed and resentful about the fact that I have to pump and eat in the break room with people constantly apologizing. For what? I have no idea. I use a cover so it can be that I’ve offended them with my indiscretion. It’s hard enough trying to eat, let down to a mechanical pump, keep an eye on the time without breaking my cover without having to explain why I’m still nursing an 11 month old. It is in these moments I long to close the milk shop!
I come home from work, regain some sense of sanity and ask myself why I should I stop. I’ve got THE attachment parenting Pediatrician on my side. Dr. Bob is not only supportive but encourages us to persist for as long we want to nurse. My son has been so healthy, I STILL don’t have a period, and I’ve lost most of my baby weight. These are just a few of the many benefits we’ve enjoyed from 11 months of nursing.
As my son’s first birthday approaches, I’m consumed with thoughts of weaning. Do I want to? Sometimes. I’d love to have my bed and my body back. I’d love to take that pump and lock it away somewhere until we decide it’s time for baby #2. I’d love to stop worrying about breastfeeding in public (a skill I never gracefully mastered). But then I think about my son, my baby. He’s growing up and I have mixed emotions about the fact that he’ll be a toddler very soon. He’ll be too busy playing and exploring to cuddle and snuggle with mommy. And that’s ok. When he’s ready, I’m ready. For now…it’s my baby and we’ll breastfeed if we want to.
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It really is sad how people automatically start to ask about nursing when a baby hits 11 months old. My youngest just turned one a week ago and it keeps on going. Everyone that knows that I still nurse ask my intentions. I remind them that it is not completely up to me, that my little guy has some say in my eyes. He is not ready to give up nursing. He does it a lot less frequently, but still is way too attached to the morning and night nursing session. I know I never thought we would go this long, but that was from troubles at the start. Now I want to cherish our special time together.
I say kudos to you for doing what is best for you and your baby. Never let anyone pressure you into anything different!
Beautiful post and I love your triumphant ending! My daughter is almost 21-months-old and I’m still nursing at night. Nursing a toddler is sweet and special – and there are still so many benefits.
Best wishes with your decision…
Stephanie
My eleven-month-old is an avid nurser and I cannot imagine weaning him anytime soon. Even though I sometimes yearn to have my boobs to myself again, the overriding feeling I have is that this is a phase in our lives that should be savored and cherished because it is so sweet and (in the grand scope of life) so fleeting.
Great post! My M-I-l – and F-I-L! – don’t ask, they pretty much tell me I’m way past the time when I should have weaned my now 16-month-old daughter. Not sure how this is their business . .
I too would love my bed back and a night or two of unbroken sleep, but it’ll happen eventually, so I’m just enjoying now!
Great post. From the time my daughter was oh 5-6 mo my inlaws began asking, “When are you going to start formula?” Um, never. She ended up nursing until about a week or two before her little sister was born. They’re 21mo apart exactly. I had begun to think that I’d be tandem nursing but she just seemed to decide that her time was up.
Extra kudos to you having to pump too!
I nursed my son well-past his 13-month mark. He could have cared less about the nursing after he turned 1 but I held on as long as I could. And once you turn that corner there’s no going back. Now he’s an extremely busy toddler and I long for the days when he would settle down enough to nurse even if it was only for a minute so that we could cuddle.
I too kept getting asked if I was STILL nursing. At first I would answer “yes” with a tinge of reluctance in my tone. But I soon learned if I responded “YEP!” with 100% confidence then no one really questioned me about it.
Good luck!