On some nights, you’ll find my son, tucked securely between my husband and I. He’s two and a half, and while he does manage to sleep in his toddler bed most nights, sometimes he wants to be close to mommy and daddy. I co-slept with my son for about a year and a half (some may say that’s too much) and if I had my way, he’d still be in our bed. Co-sleeping helped us successfully breastfeed for over 14 months and strengthened our bond as a family. It also helped me sleep better. I didn’t have to worry about whether or not he was too cold or too hot or still breathing. Many experts in the field of pediatrics have documented that co-sleeping (when done correctly) is safe and can actually prevent SIDS. I plan on co-sleeping with our baby girl when she arrives (very very soon).
There comes a point in time when a child must learn how to go to sleep on his/her own. I think that every child is different and the age at which this occurs varies. More and more I’m attempting to minimize the amount of time my son is in our bed, only because I know we’ll be co-sleeping with our little girl and I’m not comfortable co-sleeping with both a toddler and a baby (some may have a different opinion on that topic as well). So how do we get him to sleep? Here are my five top tips for helping a child go to sleep.
1. Consistency is key (Stick to a routine): Every night it’s the same (unless we’re out or away). The evenings are spent “winding down.” We eat dinner, read a book (or 3), brush our teeth, and tuck our little boy in. My son has come to really depend on that routine. If we forget something, or do something out of order, it doesn’t work.
2. Bedtime is bedtime: Unless we’re out or away, my son is in bed by 8:00 pm. Every single night. That goes hand in hand with a routine. Varying bedtimes is not good for a child’s sleep patterns.
3. Use a lovey or stuffed animal: Some may not agree with what I’m about to say. But I believe that Mr. Bear has really helped my son with his sleep….especially when we were transitioning him from co-sleeping to his own bed. It’s his little “security” bear for when mommy and daddy are in their own bed.
4. Pay attention to what your child is telling you: What’s “right” for one child may not be “right” for another. I remember hearing my more experienced mom friends tell me to keep my son in his crib until he was at least 3. I even read articles supporting these statements. Some said that moving a toddler from a crib to a bed too soon could be detrimental to their sleep. My son was ready to be out of his crib before the age of 2, but we didn’t pay attention because we were so caught up with listening to what other people said. Around this time our little boy who was sleeping through the night, was waking up several times. There came a point where he just wanted out. We struggled for months with his sleep. I finally decided to go against what I read and heard and moved him to a toddler bed. Sure, there were a few nights of adjustment where he slept on the floor. But it was the best thing and he just loves his little bed.
5. Be patient and flexible: Babies and children who are sick, teething, or uncomfortable will not sleep well or through the night. Forcing the issue will only contribute to your child’s sense of insecurity and further exacerbate sleep issues. I do not believe in the CIO (cry it out) method (it’s perfectly ok if you disagree). Leaving a baby or toddler to “cry it out” doesn’t address their physical or emotional needs. Pre-verbal children have no other way of communicating their discomfort. Remember, you baby, toddler, preschooler (gasp!) won’t be sleeping with you forever. I can pretty much guarantee that. So take a deep breath, be patient, and cherish the time your child wants to be with you. Once they hit those pre-teen years and want their independence, you may be longing to cuddle with your sweet baby or tot.
And speaking of sleep, I wrote this post in conjunction with a promotion TwitterMoms is hosting with a company called St. Eve Kids. If you’re looking for adorably trendy children’s sleepwear, be sure to check out St. Eve Kids. They feature the characters of DramaU and include “playful themes and colorful personalities.” Their pajama sets make a lovely gift idea. And perhaps a new set of PJ’s is an incentive to get your toddler to enjoy going to sleep. I know my son loves the “let’s put on our jammy jammies” part of our bedtime routine! You can find St. Eve Kids at Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s, Nordstrom, Bealls, Kohl’s, Sears, and JC Penney.
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I think that consistency is the #1 most important of the list of 5. Human beings in general are creatures of habit. If you can get a young child into a routine early on it will be very beneficial. Problems often arrise with children when schedules and routines are disrupted.