Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
Photo Credit: lusi
The first time we met was in the 4th grade. It’s been too long to know whether it was on the playground at recess or in class. All I know is that of all the people I’ve had in my life, she has been the one friend I can count on to be there any and every time I have needed her…the one friend I would and have dropped everything for.
I remember one particular year when she planned an incredible luau-themed birthday party. The party was so intricately thought-out, that it remains forever impressed upon my mind. In the midst of what should have been a celebration, there was a sadness in her eyes that could not be hidden. In that moment she came to understand who her true friends were. And I grasped a deeper sense of what it meant to be a good friend.
The year we graduated elementary school was exciting and frightening. Many of us went our separate ways, dictated in part by our parents. Junior High and High School were big transitions for all of us, and the sprinkling of familiar faces did not help ease the move. But in the midst of algebra, theater arts, football games, peer pressure, and the desire to fit in, somehow our bond grew stronger.
I was her maid of honor in her wedding…she held my hand and then my newborn son on that warm summer day 5 years ago. We’ve shared tears upon tears and laughter upon laughter. Life changed us…but our friendship persevered. Weeks…months…even years can pass by…but when we finally catch up via phone or in person, the only sign that time has passed is on our faces.
Last Summer, when my father was diagnosed with cancer, I experienced the whole spectrum of emotions…sadness and grief…anger…confusion…denial. I did a lot of driving during those months in an attempt to clear my head and process all that I was feeling in a way that would not affect my kids. I didn’t talk to many people about what was going on. I tend to be very private in that way. I have a handful of friends and family members who I could talk to…who were amazing during that time. But when it came to walking through the fire, she was right there with me.
It had been months since we had spoken. Children, husbands, work, life just kept getting in the way. But I knew if there was just one person who could walk with me during this time…it was her. As I was driving to visit my father, I drove through the city she lived in and I knew I just had to pick up the phone. A few weeks later, she held me at the hospital, beside my father’s bed for the very last time while I weeped that Fall September night.
Some friends come and go, as quickly as the seasons change…they are in your life for a specific reason. Time goes by, and soon you outgrow each other. And then there are those friends who have been there from the beginning. They know your past…they’ve held your hand through the mire…they have loved you at your worst and cheered you on during your success.
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately…what it means to be a true friend and what that looks like. I’ve come to realize that to know and be known by someone so deeply is a rarity. That type of relationship can’t be foraged with too many or it becomes diluted…superficial.
This post is dedicated to my dear friend of 25 years. She is the sister I never had…
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Now that is what I call a beautiful friendship. I don’t have any friendships like that. That’s the kind I wish for.
I have a friend like that, no matter how long we go without speaking (life gets in the way and she lives across the continent) if I ever need her, she’s there, and vice-versa.
I’m so glad you have a friend like that! Everyone should have at least one friendship like that 🙂
I love it! My closest friend and I met in the 3rd grade and she has always been there when I needed her… even across the miles. Now though… my husband is my best friend and has been by my side for 21+ years. I just adore him. 🙂
I love that you have a friend like that…I had one but sadly and with great regret, she took her own life when she was 17, leaving behind a beautiful baby girl and a whole lot of folks who miss her…wonderful article and thank you for sharing your heart with us all~!!
I have a friend like that. It’s such a blessing to know that there is one person out there (besides your spouse or partner) that is always,always there for you.
I have a friend who I’ve known since I was 6 years old. We can go without talking for months and then just pick right back up like nothing has changed. Its always nice to know that you have someone like that in your life.
my closest friend is my sister, and we are like that. Time and space doesn’t matter. I have a few childhood friends that I’ve had almost my entire life, and we are like that too. Definitely something to cherish.
Aww, what a wonderful post, it made me teary. I have two friends that go back to elementary school – it really is wonderful to have someone that knows you so well and will always be there. <3
so beautiful. I have a friend like that whom I just met, but it feels like we’ve known each other forever. Lovely post.
Okay. Now I’m crying. What a beautiful friendship.
What a beautiful testament to that friendship! You are truly blessed!
Thank you for this gorgeous story. I’m still close with my friends Kelly and Viv who I met in the 4th grade which was a difficult transitional year for me. They literally got me though it and continue to support me all these years later.
Not a moment of the day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars for my ‘person’. We have so much in common, yet oddly she is the complete opposite of me. My life would really be sad without her. I’m also still super close with all of my best high school girlfriends 20 years later. Even before Facebook, we never let more than a few months pass before catching up via phone.
Awwww…. I love this post. It made me cry actually. I have a friend like that who I love and adore and always keep her close. We are the lucky ones, not many people can say that. 🙂 Cheers to you and that friend.
It’s a beautiful thing when you have someone like that in your life. It’s not often women can say those wonderful things you said about your friend. You two are very lucky to have each other. I have a friend that would jump hoops for me and we’ve only known each other for 7 years. I would do the same for her. Thanks for such a wonderful post!
So nice that you still friends after so many years!
Thank you for sharing this story Caryn. You are lucky to have such amazing friends in your life.