Finding out I was pregnant with our son while living half-way across the world was quite a shock for my husband and I. Hence we failed to think ahead about what was going to happen once our son was born. At the time, I had no idea how strong my desire to stay home full time with my son would be. Now this is coming from a woman who never thought she would leave a career she put so much time and effort into. I could not imagine turning in my RN license and Master’s degree for Gymboree and Barney. Besides the fact that being out of practice for even a short time often requires additional training and education since medicine is a dynamic field, in constant motion. Coupled with the reality that living in Southern California requires two incomes, I had already planned on going back to work.
Until I gazed into my son’s deep brown eyes. There is such an intense amount of love a mother feels for her child…it is so indescribable that words fail to do it justice. I remember thinking that there was no way I could leave this precious little boy. I would do anything and everything in my power to stay home with him and for six wonderful months we made it happen. Those six months were incredible. I formed such a unique bond with my son and I credit that time with how successful nursing went, given the rough start we had. It was also the hardest and most unnatural thing to stay home day after day without structure, routine and adult conversation.
Reading is one of my passions. During my pregnancy I had plenty of time to read all about raising a baby. Unfortunately nobody prepared me for the huge role transformation I was about to endeavor. My BF who is a stay-at-home mom to three lovely girls makes it seem like a walk in the park, while I struggled for months trying to figure out how to take a shower and leave the house without some sort of meltdown…mommy meltdown that is.
Melissa Stanton’s new book, entitled The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide, is the answer many moms will find on how to cope with the unique challenges faced by the stay-at-home mom. I love my son tremendously but I felt guilty for wanting to pass him over when my husband got home from work out of sheer mental and physical exhaustion. I felt selfish for wanting some uninterrupted time to myself to do something or absolutely nothing. Some days I wanted to scream when my husband asked me what I did that day after holding and comforting a colicky baby who would not let me put him down all day. I stressed constantly about the financial burden my leave from work was creating. It is amazing how much of our identity is tied to what we do. There was that constant nagging in the back of my mind that if I did not return to work in a reasonable amount of time I may lose the knowledge and skills I worked so hard to attain. Then what would I be? The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide addresses these issues and more. What I love about this book is that, in essence, it is a compilation of experience and advice for stay-at-home mothers by stay-at-home mothers.
I LOVED and seriously needed the chapter entitled Motherhood: Who’s the Expert. We all aim to be the best mom we can be. But I wanted to do everything by the book and my husband and I have had many arguments over this. I am a perfectionist but not a perfect parent and have felt a ton of guilt over issues like allowing my son to watch television so I can get in a shower. This chapter was both reassuring and freeing.
Regardless of whether or not you work for pay, motherhood is a job that never ends. I’m so glad that there is an authentic, down-to-earth survival guide that recognizes both the joys and struggles of full-time parenting.
As a side note, I have since gone back to work 2 days a week. I’d choose staying at home with my son full-time over work any day. The reality is that this is not possible. The other 5 days are spent cherishing the time I have with my son. I think I have the best of both worlds!
Check out The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide available for purchase on Amazon.
Check out Melissa Stanton’s website here.
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