It was supposed to be a great day. How could it not be, when we started out the morning with Cinnamon Pancakes. I know he’s been feeling the effects of my divided attention. He’s been the center of my world for the past 2 1/2 years. Now there is this other person…taking his place in mommy and daddy’s bed…strapped to mommy where he once was…nursing in mommy’s lap where he always sits… We’ve both try to make sure he is getting plenty of hugs, kisses, and love…plenty of books and play time with each of us. But he is craving our attention…our undivided attention.
I sit him down with crayons and proceed to nurse the baby. She’s fussing and I’m distracted. My son is at an age where he prefers that mommy and daddy draw pictures (rather than drawing them himself). I explain to him that I’m nursing the baby and will draw with him once I’m finished. I’m still distracted with my daughter. He knows I’m distracted. He’s quiet (always a bad sign) and I don’t notice it until it’s too late. He apparently manages to break the tip off the crayon (something I didn’t readily observe in that moment). By the time I look over at him, the crayon is already on it’s way up (his nose, that is). I begin to panic…and it is apparent in my tone as I beg my son not to continue with this venture. “Do I put the crayon up my nose?” he asks. He’s calm…he’s smiling. I’m panicking. “No, I say loudly…”We don’t put crayons in our nose.” In seconds I’m pulling the baby off, trying to put her in the swing so I can avoid this potential crisis. It’s too late. My overreacting has led to a lodged crayon. The baby is now hysterical and I’m about to join her.
The rational side of me knows that I should not attempt to dislodge it. But I’m already marching him up the stairs with a plan that involves a tweezer. Failed. I’m too much of a coward to attempt such a feat. With tears in my eyes, I call my Pediatrician, shamefully explaining how I have failed as a mother. The nurse asks me several questions, including the one where I tell her that I observed the whole, ridiculous event…unable to change the outcome.
We get in the car, my daughter and I both unsettled. As I drive to my Pediatrician’s office, my mind is flooded with questions, my eyes flooded with tears. Where did he learn how to put an object in his nose? Why didn’t he listen when I told him to stop? Where did I fail as a mom? My son, by the way, is smiling and oblivious to what is about to happen once we reach the Pediatrician’s office. He’s just happy he’s going to see “Dr. Bob.”
After spending what feels like an eternity, waiting to be squeezed in, we meet with the doctor. Right before he walks in, I have a heart-to-heart with my 2 year old. “Dr. Bob is going to help you find your crayon, but you need to listen to him and stay very, very still.” “Ok mommy,” he says…and I think to some extent, he understands the seriousness of what’s about to ensue. The doctor walks in and there is discussion of my failure what happened and his plan for “finding my son’s lost crayon.” I ask the question I already know the answer to…”What happens if you can’t dislodge it?” I shudder as he confirms…a trip to the hospital for sedation and a scope.
I sit my son in my lap, holding him, knowing that success depends on his ability to stay still. The first attempt is unsuccessful. It’s packed in there tighter than we thought. The Dr. goes to get a different instrument and I give my son another pep talk. I’m scared for him. But after a few minutes, he grasps the crayon and I breathe a deep sigh of relief.
On that day, I felt like a complete failure as a mom. I still run over the scenario in my mind about what I could have done differently. Thankfully, my pediatrician was gracious…my husband forgiving. And I am comforted by those moms who have gone before me with similar stories (special thanks to the mom who sat with me while I waited and told me about the time her son put a tic tac up his nose).
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Aw, I dont think it had anything to do with you parenting. Kids do the craziest things when they’re little. My younger brother did the same thing with a tiny plastic baby that was on a babyshower favor when he was 4. My mom went nuts but he was just being a mischievous lil boy, lol.
I am so happy to hear that he’s OK.
Caryn, you are not a failure at all. I can imagine how scary and frustrating it must have been. Hang in there. I don’t think there’s one mom out there that doesn’t feel like a failure at one point or another 🙂
Hugs to you my friend!
ohh what we moms have to go through. When Sam was 3, I was nursing Sarah and she decided to shove a jelly bean up her nose. Luckily she snorted it out.
We all have those moments. I am thankful I am in a playgroup where we share our bad mommy moments.
Though I’ve never been there with my son, my mom was there with my older brother and a crayon, and my older sister and a dry pinto bean.
Not a bad parenting moment, just one of those things! I think we’ve all had similar things happen. My son once bit down on a pink plastic bead, it expanded and got caught around his toogh and required an emergency trip to the dentist. I found your blog through Tanyetta today and came over to read.
My son loves to put peas up his nose! Luckily though I can pop them out, as gross as that sounds!
What a scare, Caryn! I’m so glad that Dr. Bob was able to dislodge that pesky little crayon.
You are a terrific mama! That could have happened to anyone…and you responded with gentleness and smarts to the situation.
Speaking from experience, we all have those days! When my son was 4, he stuck 2 M and M’s up his nose, and I panicked.. thankfully hubby is pretty great in a “crisis”, and got a warm washcloth to melt the candy out of his nose! I felt like the worst mom ever, I should have known it was coming, he had been putting EVERYTHING near his nose!
And, a few years ago, my daughter almost got a pea up HER nose, but I grabbed it out of her hand just in time!
Since then, we’ve only had a few fingers up the noses, lol!
Oh Caryn, we feel your pain… all of us. I think there are times that we have all had the “I am a failure as a mother” moment. I had to take my oldest son to the ER 3 times in 2 weeks when he was your sons age [ I took him to 2 different places because I was afraid I was going to be arrested and I wasn’t even there for 2 of the events.]
Believe me when I tell you that what your son did is SO normal for a toddler. I worked for and Ear, Nose & Throat Surgeon’s office and the things that kids put in their noses is unbelieveable…. And there are several interesting ways that they can be removed by a good ENT doc – WITHOUT surgery… just in case it happens again! 🙂
You are a great mom and we all know it!
You are so not a failure! We’ve had beads in ears, dimes (seriously) in noses! It happens to the best of us. I’ve had a 2 year old with a broken leg, a 3 year old who got through 2 door knob covers, climbed up onto the sink and opened 2 brand new boxes of children’s chewable tylenol. Both were child safe bottles and had the foil still intact before she got into them. We have been into the ER for things so many times, it’s not funny.
Hun, we can only do so much with what we are given. We need to put our faith in God that he will help us along the way. Just think, you will be able to tell this story and laugh about it soon!!! (((HUGS)))