I looked at the clock this morning and almost an hour had gone by. I watched you look around the room and into my eyes…mostly you just slept. I prayed for you and dreamed about all of the things we’ll do together. This overwhelming need to protect you overcame me. Only another mother would understand that instinct which is so strong.
I started thinking about what it means to be a mother. It only begins with 9 months of using your body to grow another. It’s so much more than that. I find it interesting that the dictionary reduces such an important role to simply “one who has given birth to a child.”
My precious babies are only on loan to me for a time. I once heard someone say that parenting, in essence, is the process of counting down…the process of equipping and preparing your children to leave and function on their own. The time only gets shorter…
I look at my toddler and then at my 3 week old and think to myself…how is it that I was just holding him…nursing him in my arms? How is it that he was the one I was just gazing at with dreams in my heart? He’s a walking running, talking 2 1/2 year old with his own thoughts, feelings, and wants. Most days he only wants to cuddle at nap or bedtime. I want him to grow up and stay a baby both at the same time.
Our baby girl is likely our last child. Some days, when I haven’t managed to get a much needed shower in, or anything measurable done around the house…and I’m surrounded by spit up and diapers…I breathe a quiet sigh of relief that there is an end in site. But then my toddler will look at me and say, “Mommy…are you a princess?” Or my baby girl will snuggle up against me at 3 am and I know that I will miss all of this terribly in a few short years.
I sit here, reminded of how finite life is. This week, a friend of mine suffered the type of loss no mother should ever have to experience. Please consider stopping by to leave her a note of support or encouragement.
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Beautiful post and so true!
It’s times like these you want to hug your kids tight and never let go!
Caryn,
This is such a beautifully written post, you are so right in how we all should feel about our children.
Thank you for sending me over to Arianne’s blog… I don’t know how a woman can go through something like that and survive. You are a wonderful friend to care enough about her to ask us to help her. I have added her to my prayers.
Love you. xoxo