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A Mother’s Love (My Ranting!)

Posted by Caryn Bailey 2 Comments

I’m up late blogging because I couldn’t sleep after the day I had today. Josh went in for his 4 month checkup today and of course he was due for more immunizations. I have been so wary of all the vaccines that are now required (see my previous post on vaccines). I looked at my immunization record and saw that I never had some of the vaccines my son has received (and I’m just fine!). I premedicated him with Tylenol, spread out the vaccines and yet, tonight, we ended up at the after hours clinic after my sweet boy spiked a temp. I have never known the kind of love I have for my little boy. I always thought that it would be similar to the love I feel for those that are close to me like my parents or my husband. A mother’s love is much stronger, much deeper. I can’t even really put into words how I feel about my little boy. All I know was that tonight, I was so scared that something I allowed him to have that was supposed to protect him might have harmed him. The guilt I felt (and still feel) is tremendous. He reacted to the shots last time so I anticipated that he might react again but this time it was worse than last time. He became so fussy, not wanting to eat (which is very unlike him) and then spiked a temp and I knew something wasn’t right. I drove him to the clinic with tears streaming down my face and all I wanted to do was take away the pain and discomfort he was feeling. I realized at that moment how little control I had over the situation and ultimately I have over my little boy. I immediately began to pray and lift him up to our Lord and Savior. When we arrived at the after hours clinic his temp had gone down. Praise the Lord! We finally brought our munchkin home after receiving a clean bill of health. He was so tired from the whole day that he fell asleep immediately. I really need to keep it together more next time something like this happens but I was in agony that my sweet boy was suffering. And I realize that this is just a taste of the love Christ has for me.

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Caryn Bailey
Caryn Bailey
Caryn is a NICU nurse by day, blogger by night and mom 24/7. She savors the warm Southern California sun and loves to travel, shopping, baking, reading and frequenting her local tea room. Caryn created the column Lavishly Green for Peekaboo Picks Magazine to share her best tips for going green in style, she is the Former editor for Family Review Network, former OC Family Magazine online contributor, former Orange County Moms Blog contributor, former Evenflo Savvy Parent contributor, former member of the Totsy Advisory Board and former freelance writer for CBS Los Angeles.
Caryn Bailey
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posted in Personal Blog

2 Responses to A Mother’s Love (My Ranting!)

  1. Naomi says

    October 17, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    Sorry about your horrible night!

    You just entered my CleanRest contest and I am curious about the “crib wrapping” you mentioned. What do you wrap it with? Sorry to leave this in comments but I could not find an email address on your blog or profile.

    Thanks,
    Naomi

    p.s. I know he’d have to grow into it, but you should enter my Georgie World outfit contest, too!

    Reply
  2. Naomi says

    October 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    [email protected], btw.

    Reply

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What started out as a way to chronicle my son’s first year of life has evolved into Rockin’ Mama. I am a babywearing, breastfeeding mama, a NICU nurse by day, blogger by night.

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