This week, I’m guest posting at Jen and Barb, Mom Life.  We’re talking about how we as parents can help their children support their passions.  I’d love to have you weigh in on their site so I’m going to close comments here.

Compensated post. 

Unconventional...and Messy!

I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Baby Wise (it’s actually called On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep), The Happiest Baby on the Block, and The Attachment Parenting Book, all in hopes of gleaning some wisdom on the daunting life-long journey towards perfecting my parenting skills.  But nothing could prepare me for the challenges I was to face, particularly when my daughter was born just 2 1/2 years after my son. Despite the long list of books and resources parents can find on everything from sleep training to potty training, there really is no single manual that will tell you precisely how to raise your child.  There is no step-by-step program that I as a parent can follow to ensure my children will grow up to be purposeful and confident (believe me, I’ve looked!).

Most of parenting tactics have really been accomplished by trial and error.  I mean, what do you do when your child throws a tantrum?  Or purposefully avoids the potty and aims for the floor?  Or walks up to a complete stranger and hits her (at a carnival!)?  Sometimes, when all of the dos and don’ts have been tried, I have to tap into my unconventional parenting tactics.

Some might label us as attachment parents.  I nursed both of my children until we were both ready to end that relationship.  Most nights, you’ll still find one or both of our children wedged in between us.  And…we never, ever spank our children.  You can imagine that discipline becomes incredibly challenging. Discipline is where I’ve had to get creative, tapping into all of my resources to ensure that I’m guiding and training without hurting them physically or emotionally.  So what do we do when our children behave in ways that are socially unacceptable?

1. We allow or impose consequences.  There was a brief moment in time, where my son was getting in trouble at school every. single. day.  We were frustrated, confused, and genuinely upset about the fact that our sweet, thoughtful little boy was engaging in behavior that was hurtful to other children.  After taking away a number of privileges and not seeing any change in his behavior, we decided to get serious about consequences.  For example, my son went through this phase where he would break apart a toy another child had put together with LEGOS. So, at home instead of intervening when his sister would do something similar, we allowed it (briefly).  The very first time my daughter took apart something my son had created, he came running to tell me.  Because this was around the time when he was getting in trouble every day at school, I first allowed my daughter to do this, then spoke to my son about how he felt when his sister took apart his toy.  This wasn’t a behavior I allowed to continue indefinitely, only for a small amount of time to help my son understand what it was like for his friends to have their toy creations taken apart.

2.  We distract and divert when it’s appropriate.  In many instances, I can pinpoint the origin of my children’s behavior (i.e. hungry, tired, bored, etc.) and taking care of their needs typically resolves the situation. And then there are those instances when they are acting out for no reason at all (at least none that I can identify).  This is when I redirect them.  Perhaps we’ll go outside to get a change of scenery. Or we’ll stop one activity and move on to something completely different. I don’t really see this as ignoring as much as it is giving them a new environment to help channel their energy, while still sending the message that the behavior they are engaging in is not appropriate for the situation.

3.  I take a time out. Sometimes this is simply to save my sanity.  But in most instances it sends a message to my son that his behavior is unacceptable and that if he wants mommy to read, play, bake, etc. with him, he’ll have to change it.  A time out doesn’t have to be in a physical location.  In fact, the very act of interrupting the book we’re reading or the game we’re playing sends the message clearly to my son.

As a mom, I have used tactics that you won’t find anywhere in a book.  The combination of trial and error and that innate sense of knowing what your child needs exactly when they need it really guides my approach to parenting my children.

Despite our frustrations, our children are such a joy. Some of our funniest moments as a family involve things our children did or said.  To celebrate the launch of The Clorox Lounge, a website hosted by comedian, actress and mom Sherri Shepherd, parents and visitors to the site can enter the Last Comic Sitting Competition and Sweepstakes for a chance to win $10,000 or one of 10 weekly prizes. Do you have a hilarious or crazy parenting tactic? Share it over at The Clorox Lounge through April 22nd, 2012. The site, with humor as it’s focus, features everything you need for comic relief including funny anecdotes, giveaways, coupons, and more.

This is a compensated post written while participating in the SocialMoms and The Clorox Lounge blogging program.   For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Upon check-in, you’re greeted with a complimentary glass of champagne that you can enjoy in an expansive lounge, the bar, or a VIP suite.  The ultra-hip vibe you get from the in-house DJ and modern, upscale decor might lead you to believe you’re in a snazzy nightclub.  Au contraire, you’re at Le Posh in the heart of Hollywood.

Last week, I walked the red carpet at the West Coast launch party for Moms and the City and a Dad Named David, which was held at the newly opened day spa.  The show, which airs on NBC, offers “an honest, straightforward look at life in the city from a parenting point of view.”  At present, the show can be viewed in New York, Chicago, DC, and Philadelphia but will soon make it’s way to California.

The spa itself is unlike any I’ve stepped foot in.  The decor alone exudes luxury.  Some of the highlights include state-of-the-art facials and peels, soothing massage and body therapies, high-end hair and nail care, and precision waxing.  A day at Le Posh is an experience.  Enjoy a pedicure in their stone foot baths, glam up with a NYC blow-dry, or indulge in their Vichy shower after receiving an organic scrub.  You’ll only find the best in skin care products used during treatments including Biologique Recherche and Tasha & Co.

Le Posh is located in the heart of Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard.  Right now, they’re offering a grand opening blowout special for just $35.  To book a treatment, visit their website.

No compensation was received for this post.  I was invited to the launch which helped facilitate this review.

We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume, Contretemps

On the outside, everything appears to be fine..makeup flawless (covering the dark circles that reveal weeks months years of sleep deprivation), hair styled to a T (did you notice my roots are 2 years old?), freshly washed Gap jeans (I can’t button them, but no one’s looking right?), forgiving blouse covering an abdomen that bears the battle scars of pregnancy (i.e. stretch marks). We arrive at our destination, fashionably (but not embarrassingly) late. And then it begins. The crying…first one and then the other…in unison. I’m about to join in. But I’m the “mother.” I’m supposed to keep it together.

After 30 minutes of crying (all of us…I gave in), the baby is asleep and the toddler is in the stroller, content that he won’t spend the rest of the day tied down in a car seat. I comb through my hair with my fingers and touch up my lip gloss. I take a deep breath and smooth out the wrinkles (lovely…she spit up…but the baby carrier will hide that). I walk to my final destination…now unforgivably late.

“Wow…I don’t know how you do it with a baby and a toddler” I hear that more times than I can count. The truth is, most days, I don’t either. It’s all about appearances…right?

It used to be other people’s children throwing tantrums at the Henry’s or pulling all the toys off the shelves at Target. I’d smile sympathetically at those moms who’s children were misbehaving. Today…it was my children.

As a woman, I’ve always felt that appearances were important. No matter where I went or how I felt, I always “had it together” (at least that’s how I presented myself). So when I go somewhere and my children are not acting like the perfect angels I know they have the potential to be, I get flustered…embarrassed….apologetic. Motherhood is the season of life where I often feel awkward….caught off guard. I stumble…and stutter.

But you’d never know that by looking at me. Because on the outside, I’m calm, cool, and collected. Cold perhaps? That mask keeps people at a distance. Nobody identifies with perfection.

Relationships are formed out of authenticity. It’s in the sharing of how my toddler stuck a crayon up his nose right in front of my face that the masks come off. It’s in the closet confessions of how I rarely get in a shower before noon that we relate to each other. Motherhood at times can be lonely. I find it comforting to know that my toddler isn’t the only one who pushes other children for no reason or plays with poop.

{Photo by djcodrin}

Parenting requires many virtues…patience, forgiveness…empathy…humor…and a bit of savviness.  More and more, I’m finding that my toddler is on to me.  Like the other day when I told him we were going to have pancakes but then realized we only had waffles.  He KNEW that they weren’t pancakes (duh!).  He’s super smart and attentive and picks up on things very quickly…which means I need to be a step or three ahead of him.

I recently shared some of my favorite tips for traveling with babies and tots.  Evenflo conducted a survey asking parents what concerns them most about traveling with kids.  Here are some of the results, from the company:

The biggest worry parents have when taking car trips is that their young child will be harmed in a collision (76%).

60% of moms and 63% of dads confess installing their car seat was challenging

Adjusting car-seat straps got parents in a tangle the most (60%), followed by making sure the straps were tight enough (48%).

A third (34%) of parents say their child has wiggled out of their car seat and one-fifth of parents admit this happens at least once a week.

Some 48% of parents worry about keeping their child entertained while in their car seat, 34% worry that their little one will wiggle out of the car seat and 32% worry their child will have a temper tantrum.

72% of parents stock the car with toys, 54% rely on Cheerios and Goldfish snacks, 46% sing silly songs, 36% play DVDs and 27% keep books on hand.

Attending to a baby while driving causes 38% to miss their exit once in a while, and 12% to miss their exit often and has caused 38% of parents to get lost.

Evenflo has created a Savvy Parenting site, filled with witty episodes, support, advice, and entertainment.  They even have a blog, featuring guest bloggers (some of whom you may know).

Win It! One savvy reader will win The Ultimate Savvy Parent’s Car Kit which includes the following ($100 value):

• $25 Gas Gift Card, a little treat for mom and dad
• Moist Wipes, for quick car clean up
• Baby Mirror, to check out rear-facing baby while driving
• Soft Book, to secure safety of passengers when thrown during tantrum
• Kid/Parent Friendly CD, to inspire a family sign along
• Car Dustbuster, for hunting down cheerios between seats
• Window Shade, to keep the hot summer sun out
• Animal Crackers and a Snack Trap, to carve cravings
• Car organizer, to keep it all arranged neatly!

Simply visit the site.  Then come back and leave a comment with something you liked or learned from the site. Comments will close on July 17, 2010 at 11:59 PM PST.  US residents only. Duplicates and comments not including the above information will be disqualified. Comments are moderated. If you don’t see your comment in a reasonable amount of time, send me an email. Bloggers and non-bloggers may enter. If you don’t want to leave your email address, please be sure to check back for my announcement on the winner. Please note that winners must respond within 48 hours of being announced/contacted or another winner will be drawn. Want an extra entry? Do any or all of the following and receive an extra entry for each one.

Be sure to leave me a separate comment for each additional entry.

Follow Evenflo on Twitter

Follow me on Twitter AND tweet about the contest.

Subscribe to my feed via email or reader.

Blog about this giveaway. It doesn’t have to be a separate post. Just include a blurb about it when you blog about other giveaways.

Click on one of the very cute buttons below and digg, stumble, fav, etc. Just let me know what you did in the comments!

No compensation was received for this post.  The giveaway was sponsored by Evenflo.

This giveaway is now closed. Thanks for stopping by.  The winner is Linda K. Congrats.

Don’t you just love feeding babies? We just started our little girl on solids and I think we’ve enjoyed it more than she has.  When my son was a baby, we attempted (unsuccessfully) to make his baby food. Perhaps if I would have followed Dra. Aliza’s advice I may have been more successful.

Each week, Dra. Aliza offers education and advice to new and expectant parents.  If you have a question for Dra. Aliza, be sure to post it on their Facebook page.  You can read more about the program in my initial post.

Be sure to check out their Facebook page which includes links to important tips and information.

And since this is the sixth week of the program’s launch, I have another Looney Tunes’ themed giveaway for you!  And don’t forget you still have time to enter to win an entire crib makeover.

Win It! One of you will win a Baby Looney Tunes Gift Set (including bottles, bib, rattle). Simply visit their Facebook/Twitter page to find the key word of the week (there will be one each week, announced on each Tuesday).  Then send an email to giveaways@rockinmama.net to let me know what the word is (be sure to include the number of the week you’re entering….that’s 6 this week!).  This contest will run until next Tuesday.  US residents only.  Comments are moderated. If you don’t see your comment in a reasonable amount of time, send me an email. Bloggers and non-bloggers may enter. If you don’t want to leave your email address, please be sure to check back for my announcement on the winner. Please note that winners must respond within 48 hours of being announced/contacted or another winner will be drawn. Want an extra entry? Do any or all of the following and receive an extra entry for each one.

Be sure to leave me a separate comment for each additional entry.

Follow Baby Looney Tunes on Twitter and tweet about the contest (weekly entries via Twitter)

Like Baby Looney Tunes on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter AND tweet about the contest

Subscribe to my feed via email or reader.

Blog about this giveaway. It doesn’t have to be a separate post. Just include a blurb about it when you blog about other giveaways.

Click on one of the very cute buttons below and digg, stumble, fav, etc. Just let me know what you did in the comments!

No compensation was received for this post.  I am participating in an 8 week campaign with Warner Bros. and Baby Looney Tunes.

Your brown eyes light up when you’re happy

You wake up singing each morning

You want to “do it all by yourself” one minute and “be a baby” the next

You want to help out with your baby sister by giving her the paci or her bunny

You play pretend with your trains

You giggle

You want to help mommy and daddy out with everything (especially when we bake together)

You remember what mommy and daddy tell you (especially when we tell you we’re going to Disneyland)

You creatively use things in ways I could never imagine

You ask mommy and daddy to draw things like trains and Dora

You repeat things that mommy and daddy say (it’s funny and it keeps us on our toes to be mindful of what comes out of our mouths)

You climb into and out of your highchair (how did you learn how to do that?)

You cuddle with us at night while we’re reading

Josh at 2 1/2

You turn over on to your belly to sleep (just like your brother…and your mommy like to sleep).

You can be asleep peacefully next to me one minute and bright-eyed the next, the moment I wake up.

You squeal every morning for about 15 minutes in sheer happiness before drifting off to your morning nap.

You follow your brother around the room with your eyes…smiling and cooing to get his attention.

You move your arms and legs when you’re excited.

You pause while you’re nursing to smile at me.

You mysteriously manage to take off your mittens to chew on your hand.

You suck on your middle two fingers (so cute!).

You coo to get daddy’s attention.

You giggle when I kiss your cheek and neck.

Your hair sticks up in the back.

You smell.

Your bright eyes and infectious smile make even the most difficult days joyful.

Cate at 3 1/2 months

I sit him down with crayons and proceed to nurse the baby.  She’s fussing and I’m distracted.  My son is at an age where he prefers that mommy and daddy draw pictures (rather than drawing them himself).  I explain to him that I’m nursing the baby and will draw with him once I’m finished.  I’m still distracted with my daughter.  He knows I’m distracted.  He’s quiet (always a bad sign) and I don’t notice it until it’s too late.  He apparently manages to break the tip off the crayon (something I didn’t readily observe in that moment). By the time I look over at him, the crayon is already on it’s way up (his nose, that is).  I begin to panic…and it is apparent in my tone as I beg my son not to continue with this venture. “Do I put the crayon up my nose?”  he asks.  He’s calm…he’s smiling.  I’m panicking.  “No, I say loudly…”We don’t put crayons in our nose.” In seconds I’m pulling the baby off, trying to put her in the swing so I can avoid this potential crisis.  It’s too late.  My overreacting has led to a lodged crayon.  The baby is now hysterical and I’m about to join her.

The rational side of me knows that I should not attempt to dislodge it.  But I’m already marching him up the stairs with a plan that involves a tweezer.  Failed.  I’m too much of a coward to attempt such a feat.  With tears in my eyes, I call my Pediatrician, shamefully explaining how I have failed as a mother.  The nurse asks me several questions, including the one where I tell her that I observed the whole, ridiculous event…unable to change the outcome.

We get in the car, my daughter and I both unsettled.  As I drive to my Pediatrician’s office, my mind is flooded with questions, my eyes flooded with tears.  Where did he learn how to put an object in his nose?  Why didn’t he listen when I told him to stop?  Where did I fail as a mom? My son, by the way, is smiling and oblivious to what is about to happen once we reach the Pediatrician’s office.  He’s just happy he’s going to see “Dr. Bob.”

After spending what feels like an eternity, waiting to be squeezed in, we meet with the doctor. Right before he walks in, I have a heart-to-heart with my 2 year old.  “Dr. Bob is going to help you find your crayon, but you need to listen to him and stay very, very still.”  “Ok mommy,” he says…and I think to some extent, he understands the seriousness of what’s about to ensue.  The doctor walks in and there is discussion of my failure what happened and his plan for “finding my son’s lost crayon.”  I ask the question I already know the answer to…”What happens if you can’t dislodge it?”  I shudder as he confirms…a trip to the hospital for sedation and a scope.

I sit my son in my lap, holding him, knowing that success depends on his ability to stay still.  The first attempt is unsuccessful.  It’s packed in there tighter than we thought.  The Dr. goes to get a different instrument and I give my son another pep talk.  I’m scared for him.  But after a few minutes, he grasps the crayon and I breathe a deep sigh of relief.

On that day, I felt like a complete failure as a mom.  I still run over the scenario in my mind about what I could have done differently.   Thankfully, my pediatrician was gracious…my husband forgiving.  And I am comforted by those moms who have gone before me with similar stories (special thanks to the mom who sat with me while I waited and told me about the time her son put a tic tac up his nose).